Ugh. A year ago today was one of the hardest days of my life. It was the last day of me being a “dog mama”. I will always be a dog mama in my heart but it was the day we had to say goodbye to our fur babies. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, tied for making the decision to end my career at CoAdvantage and go to graduate school to become a Special Education teacher.
I tossed and turned over this decision. Cried and cried, tears that were extra blubbery because pregnancy hormones were involved. But we knew it at the time and know it now, it was the best decision for all even though a horribly sad one because they would no longer physically be apart of our everyday lives.
We picked up Bauer from the breeder on a snow stormy blister December day when he was two months old. He was such a feisty and energetic boy right from the start and even though I had a love/hate relationship at times, he was my fur born and my love. He was there for me when I spent the summer laying on the couch with morning sickness and slept by my side as I had contractions and was in labor with Bear and protected and loved us fiercely. He was my running buddy and such a snuggle pup even though he drove me nuts at times.
We rescued Buddy about a week before I found out I was pregnant with Bree. The dogs didn’t get along and Bauer was very territorial so we had a lot of drama with the two of them. But they had come a long way and were working through their challenges before they left us.
With moving and some major changes in our lifestyle, we couldn’t give them what they needed anymore and made the decision to find them new homes. We made the choice for them to get the love, attention, and freedom they deserved even if it was from somewhere else. Something that is so hard but sometimes needed for those you love.
We were able to find homes for them through the Rescue we got Buddy from and when I last checked in, they both seemed happy. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of them, especially now that we live in the development that we lived in when we first brought Bauer home-Constant memories and I often wonder what they would think of Bree.
I’m pretty much an open book but this is something that is still very hard for me to talk about. My eyes flood with tears when the topic comes up. I miss them so much and really, truly hope they have the love and attention they deserve and know that they are still loved by us.
My heart hurts ❤