This is 35

If you asked me 10 years ago if I would be where I am today, happiest I’ve ever been in my life, I would have laughed right in your face and took another swig of Jack. 

I used to avoid celebrating my birthday and hid my feelings in happy hour or solo drinking. It was the darkest time of my life praying and yelling at God as I drown myself in a bottle of Jack by myself. I wouldn’t have called myself an alcoholic but I was a few sips away from it. I was mad at God and sad that I was no where I wanted to be in my life even though I knew he had a plan for me. I skeptically believed strongly doubting as I tried to take control of the situation but he kept unwillingly steering me where I was meant to be. 

Even with all the missteps I took along the way, I wouldn’t change it for a thing. I am right where I want and am meant to be, with everything I have ever dreamed of and prayed for so many nights as I sobbed my liquored up self to sleep. I am stronger than I ever thought I could be and so loved. More loved by myself than I thought was possible and have so many others that love me. Love me in the right way. The way I prayed and longed for, for so long. I let the love in by loving myself and I couldn’t have pictured getting “older” being more beautiful. Life is far from perfect but I love life. 

I am thankful I made it this far and look forward to what getting “older” brings. So I started my day with sub 9 minute 5k and 35 burpees, my self-care and now off to spend my birthday and 10th anniversary of surviving some of the darkest days of my life  with the three who complete my life so❤This is 35 and I love it. 


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